How to achieve true happiness

Ask most people what they want in life and they’ll tell you they just want to be happy. But how many of us actually know what it takes to be happy? Imagine, for a moment, you have everything you’ve been chasing. There you are, living your dream life. You have the dream job, the family, […]

Ask most people what they want in life and they’ll tell you they just want to be happy. But how many of us actually know what it takes to be happy?

Imagine, for a moment, you have everything you’ve been chasing. There you are, living your dream life. You have the dream job, the family, the house, the money, the annual international vacations.

Now that you have it all, what are you feeling? Do you feel free? Powerful? Energetic? At peace? Supported? What feelings are you hoping your dream life bring will bring you?

Our generation has the freedom (an overwhelming, sometimes paralyzing freedom) to choose the kind of life we want to build. So before you spend the next thirty years building your dream life, you might want to make sure that everything you’re working towards is actually going to bring you want you want in the end: to be happy.

Enter: The Desire Map written by Danielle LaPorte. The Desire Map is all about identifying what she calls your “Core Desired Feelings”. This is not a goal setting or manifestation program. It instead focuses on how you want to feel. It digs deep and asks you to get honest with yourself — and from that place, start creating your ideal life.

She writes:
“What you buy, what you eat, what you say, who you choose to hang with, the things you make, the people you give your love to, what you wear, what you listen to, what you bring into your home, what you end, begin, and dream of . . . all go back to the desire to feel good.

We tell ourselves that it’ll be worth it when we get there, and we grind and crank and endure our way to the goal posts. We man up, suck it up, and shut up—all in the name of making a better life for ourselves. We fake it so we can be somebody. Our productivity- and results-obsessed society pathologizes feelings.

We have the procedures of achievement upside down. Typically we come up with our to-do lists, our bucket lists, and our strategic plans—all the stuff we want to have, get, accomplish, and experience outside of ourselves. All of those aspirations are being driven by an innate desire to feel a certain way. You’re not chasing the goal itself, you’re chasing the feelings that you hope attaining those goals will give you. So… What if, first, we got clear on how we actually wanted to feel within ourselves, and then we designed our to-do lists, set our goals, and wrote out our bucket lists?”

Through a series of in-depth exercises, The Desire Map asks you to get clear on your Core Desired Feelings, and then set goals as a means of creating those feelings. It sounds pretty cool, right? And it is, but remember this… you have to be ready.

The work is not easy. It’s emotional. It’s raw. It requires you to slow down and FEEL. You’ll have to stop distracting yourself. Stop numbing yourself. Stop running away from yourself.

This can be terrifying. It means putting a spotlight on the things that aren’t working or don’t feel quite right. The moment you turn that light on, you know you’re going to have to change something.

And changing your life takes courage. It takes guts. It takes patience. It takes heart.

But this is YOUR life. YOU are the one in control. No one is going to step in and save you. You have to be your own hero. If parts of your life need saving — it’s time to put on your Wonder Woman cape and handle your shit.

You’re stronger than you think.

And when you feel ready, breathe into that uncomfortable feeling you’ve been running away from. Tell it that it’s okay to come out. You’re paying attention now.

You’re ready to create the life your soul wants.

If you’re not yet convinced to pick up the book, here’s the free Ultra Light Edition of The Desire Map which includes a workbook that will guide you through six areas in life and help you uncover your Core Desire Feelings.

Desire-map-lite

Once you’ve discovered your Core Desired Feelings, they will serve as your compass. They will help you focus each day and point you in the direction of living a life that will make you happier that you could’ve ever dreamed of.

Immerse yourself in the energy of what you desire. —Hiro Boga

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